How many miles to go?

I run. Well, I do what is technically running, but the casual observer would probably call it jogging. It's running to me. It's laborious in a truly rewarding and exhilarating way. Sometimes I have to trick my body into thinking it can go another mile. Sometimes the tricks don't work and I have to accept that my body can go no further. It is a balance of victories and defeats to which I am both the winner and loser. A constant test of my own stength, perseverance and will. I run on a track, where the beginning and the end are the same spot. Am I running towards the end, or away from the beginning?

I run. Well, I do what is technically running, but the casual observer would probably call it escaping. It's running to me. It's safe in a truly disappointing and unfulfilling way. Sometimes I have to trick my mind into thinking that I can be tied down. Sometimes the tricks don't work and I have to accept that my mind is not able to commit to anything. It is a balance of victories and defeats to which I am both the winner and loser. A constant display of my own insecurities, stubborness, and lack of faith. I run on a track, where the beginning and end are the same spot. Am I running towards the end or away from the beginning?

I run. Well, I do what is technically running, but the casual observer would probably call it chasing. It's running to me. It's challenging in a truly strategic and calculating way. Sometimes I have to trick myself into believing that what I am chasing can be caught. Sometimes the tricks are just tricks and my quarry disappears as soon as I reach out to grab it. It is a balance of victories and defeats to which I am both the winner and loser. A constant reminder of my own vanity, ego, and need for validation. I run on a track, where the beginning and the end are the same spot. Am I running towards the end or away from the beginning?

Towards life, away from life. Running reminds me that I am alive, but it also keeps me from truly living. How many miles will I go before I have to stop and catch my breath? Will I ever stumble across a single space in time that will be a place where I want to be? A place so peaceful that I'm no longer interested in chasing what is out there in the abyss.....a place so safe that I don't care what is out there running after me. I catch glimpses of it sometimes, this place, so I know it's out there. Luckily, I run on a track, where the beginning and the end are the same spot, if I miss it the first time around - I'll catch up to it on the next lap, or maybe I'll slow down and let it catch up to me.