Red Pixies for Big Brown

Big Brown chose to not meet the expectations of millions yesterday. Millions of people who lost millions of dollars, in 45 seconds. The resounding "fuck you" that Big Brown delivered in a last place finish was only magnified by the silence of the crowd as they searched their little brains for an answer as to how such a thing could've happened. The beauty lies in the fact that there is no reason. No injury, no jockey miscues...Big Brown simply didn't want to run, so he didn't. Rebel. Gotta love him for that. Taking the steam out of a loathesome sport like horse racing is definitely worthy of a top-tier candy reward. And in my world, the red pixy stick is as good as a crown (and that ugly blanket of carnations). People will eventually forget Big Brown, just as they have forgotten all the other triple crown contenders that also failed to meet their expectations. His owner will always wonder what could have been, and the $2.7m that Big Brown earned in winnings only means that an already rich family has even more money to pour into the flesh trade. Horse racing is a vile industry. But don't take my word for it, ask the "men" who call themselves jockeys...if you can catch them between meal purging and sweat box sessions.
Having said all of that, I must admit that I would love to have the job of naming race horses. I think Big Brown would have been more inspired if he hadn't been named after a corporation. I've made a list, because I like to do that.

IG's list of great race horse names: (do you see a theme?)

Gimme Shelter
Baba O'Riley
London Calling
Paranoid Android
Mrs. Robinson
When Doves Cry
Comfortably Numb
Gone Daddy Gone
Blasphemous Rumours
Ziggy Stardust
About a Girl
Backdoor Man